Grandma's Treasure Box

Two years ago my cousin, Beth, called me and told me she had a great idea for the family to do for Grandma for Christmas.  She wanted us to collectively write 365 memories or things we loved about Grandma.  We’d put them in some sort of container and she would read one each day for the next year.  I thought it sounded like a great idea, but the thought of coming up with 365 things seemed daunting to me and I told her I’d think about it.  For the next couple of months, Beth continued to bring up the idea and I continued to push it aside, mostly because I felt too overwhelmed with my daily life to find the time to do it.  Finally, a few days before Christmas, Beth sent out a text to her brother, Matt, my brother, Josh, and me.  She said, “Start texting me any memories you have of Grandma and Grandpa or anything that you want to share with her.  I will start typing them up and we’re going to give them to her on Christmas day.”  She ended it with, “Grandma has done SO much for us.  We can do this for her.”  I remember I was baking Christmas cookies, finishing up last minute Christmas details, and preparing my family for the trip back to Murphysboro for Christmas.  But I knew Beth was right.  Grandma had done so much for all of us throughout the years and it was time for us to take the time and do something for her.  Something we all knew she was sure to love.  So I stopped everything I was doing and immediately started texting her that night.  Josh and Matt did the same.  A few minutes later, Beth replied with, “This is amazing!  I wish you all could read all of these right now!  We are doing this and Grandma is going to love it!”

Over the next few days I continued to come up with my favorite things about Grandma.  I brought a notepad in the car with me for the 8-hour trip home and feverishly wrote things down as they came back to me.  My husband, Cody, even shared some of his favorite memories of Grandma as we drove.  Meanwhile, Josh and Matt and their wives had been doing the same thing and by this time, my Auntie Gaye had gotten in on it, too.  Beth had spent free moments here and there typing up the ones we’d already sent to her, as well as thinking of many of her own.  And just like that, we already had over 200 memories and thoughts of Grandma.

I arrived in Murphysboro a couple of days before Christmas.  I had Auntie Gaye and Beth send me what they’d already typed and I added more of my memories to that.  Then I sat at my parents’ dining room table at the laptop, while my parents chimed in with their memories of her.  They had stories I’d heard over the years and some I never even knew about.  We had so much fun reliving it all and were starting to get excited at the prospect of Grandma doing the same.  When we finished, I sent everything back to Auntie Gaye.  Auntie Gaye, Matt, and his wife, Jess, stayed up late on Christmas Eve printing everything and cutting each memory into a strip that Grandma would pull out each day.  Beth had gotten us a treasure box to put them in.

Our Christmas day was much like those when we were younger.  We couldn’t wait to get through our lunch and get the dishes washed so that we could get to the gift opening.  But this one was different in that we weren’t excited to open our own gifts, we were excited to see Grandma’s face as she opened her gift from us.  Finally the time came to present it to her.  Her reaction was priceless and just what we’d hoped for.  She loved it and couldn’t believe what we had done.  Still reeling from reliving all the memories, we wanted her to start reading a few of them so we could talk to her about them and hear her thoughts on them.  But Grandma, a stickler for rules, insisted that she would do just as she was instructed and only read one per day.  Eventually, though, we convinced her to pull out 3 and read them aloud.  With each one she read, she smiled, and we knew that we’d given her just the perfect gift at just the perfect time.

Over the next few weeks, Mom and Auntie Gaye would tell us how excited Grandma was to read a new memory every day.  They would often ask her when they spoke to her on the phone what her memory was for that day.  She would share it with them and talk about how much she enjoyed the gift.  We heard stories of her gushing about the gift to all of her friends.  And each time she saw any of us, she would go on and on about how much she enjoyed it.

I’m so grateful that we set all other things aside and took the time to do that for her.  Not only did we give her something to look forward to each day, but we were able to tell her how much she meant to us before it was too late.  We made sure that she knew just how important every tradition she practiced with us was to each of us; like the way we opened Christmas gifts one by one from youngest to oldest so that we could all see what each other got, our annual trip to St. Louis on the weekend after Thanksgiving to see Santa and shop, and how she took each of us gambling as soon as we turned 21.  We told her the things we admired and loved about her; like her steadfast positive attitude, her strong faith in God, and the fact that she was a working mother before it was the social norm.  We gave her the assurance that we still carry with us all the important things she taught us over the years; like the value of a handwritten thank you note, how to play 31, and to always cherish your family above all else.  We let her know that every tradition, every memory, every gift she gave us matters to us.  But what I’m not sure that many of us saw coming was how much doing all of this would mean to us.  I think that we all enjoyed reliving those memories just as much as she did.  And I think it helped us all to remember what a wonderful foundation Grandma and Grandpa provided us with. 

Even though our lives are forever changed now that she is gone and it hurts more than we could ever express, I take comfort in the fact that we still have her treasure box of memories.  We can share it with each other and our children and continue to be reminded of all of the good times we shared together.  And while we’re reminiscing, I know that Grandma is right where she belongs.  Back with the love of her life, both of them watching over us and smiling on us just as they did when they were here.  Rest well together, Grandma and Grandpa.  And thanks for the lifetime of memories.

Baby Bubba Goes To Preschool!!!

Let's just move past the fact that I said I'd be back here with lots of posts and then didn't follow through, ok?  Because we've got bigger things to talk about!  

Cammy had his first day of Pre-K today!!!

Yes, that's right.  Our baby boy, the one who we decided not to send to preschool 8 months ago because we didn't feel was ready, went to school today.  For 3 hours.  And LOVED it.  I'm elated to say that the first day was a success on all accounts.  There was no crying, neither from Cameron nor his parents, nor was there any vomiting on the part of his worry-some parents.  Because, let's face it folks, when you send your non-verbal autistic child off to a whole new world of which you are not a part, it's difficult!   








Cameron walked right into his classroom and sat down at the table.  He has a para (short for para-professional) who will be with him guiding him throughout every morning he's at school.  She seemed nice, though for the life of us we can't remember her name!  I'll be sure to learn it when we go back on Thursday!  His teacher is a very sweet, patient woman who seems genuinely excited to have Cameron this year.  She has told us on numerous occasions that she will do whatever is necessary to make Cameron feel welcome and comfortable in the classroom.

I'd say he's already feeling pretty comfortable there. 

Cody and I had a leisurely breakfast out after the drop-off. I mean, really, who knew those existed?! I am still in awe that I never had to say once during the meal, "Please get out from underneath the table," nor did I ever have to tell Cody multiple times to eat his meal.  I don't think it gets much better than that!



We are so excited to see where this adventure takes our boy.  I think a lot of people I've talked to today are surprised that I didn't cry, but I'm actually really excited about it.  Cameron has been doing amazing, great things in his therapies and at home in the past few months and I really feel that school is just going to be a catalyst to even greater things.  So stick around, folks, because I'm pretty sure you are about to witness something wildly spectacular.

Hope Followed by Disappointment

Do you know what was happening at the White House today?  I'm sure the first thing that popped into your head was the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.  And yes, you are correct.  Thousands gathered on the White House lawn to do this, among other things:

You'll find dozens of other links on the White House webpage all about this huge event.  They had musicians, story times, a game where you could play with your food, numerous celebrities, and, of course, the Easter egg roll.  Don't get me wrong, it looks like a great event and I'm sure many children had loads of fun.

But do you know what else was going on at the White House today?  Something much more close to my heart than some eggs rolling in the grass...an Autism Awareness Month Conference.  I'd like to link you to dozens of pages with lots of photos of this event on the White House website.  But, sadly, no such links exist.  None that I could find anyway.  There is this one video of Senior Adviser to the President Valerie Jarrett and Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius speaking to parents, advocates, and experts.  Ms. Jarrett goes on about how the President is a supporter of autism research and rattles off the many things he's done in the past to show that support. 

After Ms. Jarrett spoke, Ms. Sebelius then took the podium.  The first words out of her mouth?  "Just be thankful you're in here and not outside with the 70,000 Easter egg hunters and the 85-degree weather."  Ms. Sebelius, I would bet my home and everything in it that every parent in that room would have given anything to be on that lawn, hunting eggs with their children.  Instead, they are at the White House, hoping against hope that their President will see how much it took for them to rearrange therapy schedules, write lists for baby-sitters, and prepare their autistic children days in advance for their abscence.  They are there to plea to the government for help in improving the lives of their children and the million others like them, in the hopes that one day their children will simply be able to hunt an egg in their own home, much less on the lawn of the White House with thousands of other children.

Ms. Sebelius went on and had the audacity to say that it is a top priority of the Administration to help those on the spectrum reach their full potential.  She went on to name the numerous things the Administration has done to better the lives of those on the spectrum.  She even went so far as to say that the biggest step they've taken to support those living with autism was to sign the Affordable Care Act into law last year.  While this law does require plans written after September 2010 to cover autism screening and developmental assessments, what exactly is it doing for us after the diagnosis, Ms. Sebelius?  She goes on to say that it bans insurers from denying children coverage from any pre-existing health condition, including Austim Spectrum Disorder.  Really, Ms. Sebelius?  Because the last time I checked, our insurance does not cover the ABA therapy my child so desperately needs and, thus, we have spent the last 8 months of our lives working our asses off to find another way to cover it because we simply don't have the thousands of dollars it would cost us PER WEEK to pay for it. 

And I know we are not the only ones.  Sure, there may be a select few that law is helping, the ones in the fine print, but the vast majority of families with children on the spectrum are fighting tooth and nail to get some kind of meaningful service for their children.

I remember when I first heard about this conference and how I couldn't wait to hear what Mr. President would say at it.  It wasn't until this morning that I learned that not only would the President not be speaking, he wouldn't even be in attendance.  No, he would be outside of the White House on Monday, April 25, 2011.  On the lawn.  Rolling eggs.  "Top Priority," you say, Ms. Sebelius?

I can't even begin to put into words the disappointment, anger, sadness, and shame I feel toward our President right now.  The fact that he thought rolling eggs on some grass held more importance than this Global Health Crisis completely baffles me.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful they scheduled it.  But why?  Why, out of the 30 days one could choose for this event, did he choose the same date as something so apparently important that it completely overshadowed the significance and importance of the Autism Conference?

Today, Mr. President, while you were outside in the beautiful weather rolling eggs across your lawn with your family, I was inside.  I was inside helping my 3-year-old non-verbal son calm down because the feeling of his own pants is sensory overload to him.  I watched him cry because he had sat through two hours of therapy and simply could not do anymore.  I watched him cover his ears because the noise of a simple toy is too much for him to handle.  I watched him run around our house, flapping his ears, making raspberry noises, and standing on his head because his brain tells him to, for reasons unknown to me. 

Thousands of other mothers did the same thing as I today.  And many of us, as we watched our children struggle to do what those of us do everyday with such ease, hoped and prayed that you would go inside your own home, listen to a few of our stories, and hear about the struggles our children face.  But you didn't, because apparently today, Mr. President, eggs were your "top priority."

I hope the eggs were worth it.

Four Words

There are so many things I'd like to see him do. 

• Play with his brother.
• Eat a banana.
• Wave bye bye.
• Really, truly hug me.
• Play correctly with numerous toys.

The list could go on and on.  But those things, all of those things, I'd forfeit in a heartbeat for just four words. 

I've heard them from Owen countless times.  I know what they sound like.  But I don't know what they sound like from him.  I long to hear his sweet voice whisper them to me.  I picture the smile on his face as he would say them. 

Four words. 

I know he says them to me in his own way.  The times he crawls up in my lap and wants me to read him a book.  The times that only I can comfort him like no one else can.  The way he always checks to make sure I'm at therapy, to be sure that I haven't left him there.  I know he's saying them.

Four words.

I know that compared to that list that is seemingly a mile long, four words seems so minuscule.  But still, I lie awake at night, dreaming of what they might sound like coming from his sweet lips.  I think about the first time I might hear him say them.  Where will we be?  How old will he be?

Four words.

I love you, Mommy.

I hope and pray with everything I have that I hear them...someday.

Communication

By now, I think most of you know that Cameron does not speak.  And when I say does not speak, I mean he does not say words.  None.  However, that does not mean that he doesn't communicate to us in his own way.  He speaks, he just speaks much differently than your average 3 year old. 

A few weeks ago I found a list I had written early last year, tucked away in a notebook.  It was a list of the words Cameron had.  Yes, he did have words at one time.  The list was full of words like "Owen, cool, horse, dog, cat, elephant, tractor, hay, Elmo, Cookie (as in the Monster, not the food)..."  I could go on with them, but they are mostly like this.  Do you know notice a pattern with them at all?  With the exception of "cool," (which he only said when Owen or someone else said it to him, which is called "echoics") they are all nouns.  That's because Cameron mostly used his words to label things.  You could ask him, "Who/what is that?" and he would label it for you.  But he never said, "I want milk," or even "Milk?" as a means to get something.  I think this is a Red Flag that can often be missed by parents and doctors, because at the well-check, your doctor might say, "Is he talking?"  Well, yes, he was talking.  What the doctor needs to say is, "Is he using words to communicate with you or to you?"  They are two very different things. 

If he wanted something like milk or a snack, he would direct us to wherever that thing was, either by putting our hand on it, or trying to physically push us in the direction of whatever he wanted.  He still does this pretty often, but he is learning a new way of communicating with us in his various therapies.

This new way is called Picture Exchange Communication System, or PECS.  Though it is kind of involved and it has been said that if you are just using pictures you are not neccessarily using the actual PECS, the basics of it involve Cameron handing us a picture of whatever it is that he wants.  It is a very slow process, as he first has to understand what each picture is, and then understand that he physically has to hand it to someone in order to receive that item. 

There are generic PECS pictures, which look like this:

If you'd like to go more specific with it, you can take photos of different things and make PECS cards out of the photos, like this:

We started this system when we had AEA coming to the house a couple of times a month.  Though he did pick up the use of the "Snack" card and the "Milk" card, it pretty much stopped there because the therapy just wasn't as intensive as it needed to be in order for him to learn the system.

Currently, we just have a few that we use pretty regularly and they are stuck to the end of our kitchen island.

In his ABA therapy that we do at the house, he has what they call a PECS book, which looks like this:

They take one or two PECS cards out of the book and velcro them to the front of the book like this:

Then Cameron is supposed to choose the PECS card which has the photo of the object he wants, give it to the therapist, and then they will give him what he asked for.  He is progressing so well with this that the Supervisor thought the three girls that work with him might be recording the data incorrectly!  She just couldn't believe how quickly he's moving along!

In his Speech and Occupational Therapy at ChildServe, he uses PECS but they go one step further.  The PECS cards are attached to a GoTalk, like this:

This is a simple voice-output device.  The Speech Therapist puts 4 PECS cards on the GoTalk, and then records with her voice what each one is.  Usually, she will say, "I want..." and say whatever is on the card.  Cameron picked this up very quickly as well.  It didn't take him much time at all to figure out how to use it and the power that it gave him.  He is making choices with it all time in therapy sessions now!

We have been trying to figure out exactly how we are going to implement all of these at home.  Obviously, our goal is vocal speech, but until that happens, we need something in place so that our little guy doesn't get frustrated because he can't tell us what he wants.  We were going to purchase a GoTalk, but the one with 4 pictures is about $200.  You can get them with 4, 9, or 20 pictures on them.  Rather than have to keep spending money on these as he moves through each one, we started looking for different ideas.  We came up with the iPad!  There are lots of apps that you can download specifically for kids with autism, including all different kinds of communication apps.  We are going to be experimenting with one in his therapy first to see how he responds to it before we purchase one.  But his Speech Therapist thinks that the iPad is where communication for kids with autism is heading so we are hopeful that it will all work out for us!

So who wants to take bets that Cody and I could be playing with an iPad in the next couple of years because Cameron no longer needs it to communicate with us since he'll be talking? ;)

Why We Walk

Walking is not just about the money for us.  Yes, we want to further autism research but we also want Cameron to be seen and heard.  We know there are so many equally deserving causes out there, but for us, this isn't just a cause.  It's our life.  Autism is not just who Cameron is.  It's who we are.  And all we are trying to do is to give you a glimpse into our life so that you might understand us a little better.  I tried to think of a way to share the wonder that is Cameron, as well as trying to quickly explain why Autism Awareness is so important to us.  This is what I came up with...

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Please feel free to share it with anyone and everyone you know.  Thank you for supporting us in whatever way you can, whether it be monetarily, walking alongside us, raising funds for us, lending an empathetic ear, or simply cheering us along as we navigate our way through this journey.  Words can't express how grateful we are for the friends and family who continue to rally around us.  And because of your support, we know that one day Cameron will say, "Thank you" to you himself.

The Floor is Open

I've been thinking about what kinds of things I'm going to highlight in my different posts about Cameron and autism and it just occurred to me tonight....is there anything that you would like me to talk about?  Whether it be about Cameron specifically or autism in general, is there anything you'd like to know?  I've had friends ask me questions before, after much deliberation as to whether they should because they were worried they might upset me, or thought it was a stupid question.  I assure you, there is no question concerning autism and/or Cameron that I am not happy to talk about, nor do I think there is any such thing as a stupid question.  So, if there's something you'd like answered or discussed, please feel free to post it in the comments section of this post.  You can even do it anonymously if you feel the need, but I hope you proudly attach your name to it! :)

More Fundraising!

I am blown away by the amount of generous people in our lives!  My cousin, Jes, has offered once again to do a fundraiser through her Etsy Shop, Yarn and Rumors, as she did last year.  However, she's added some different things to her shop than she had last year.  She's got some beautiful necklaces and earrings that she's made.  Here are some photos of the set she made for me:

I LOVE them!!!  There are puzzle piece designs but she is giving 20% of each sale to our walk team no matter what you purchase!  I've added a link to her shop, as well as Sarah's Scentsy site, on the sidebar to the right.  Please share both links with anyone you think might be interested and be sure to check it out yourself!  Thanks!

Doing My Part

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
         -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I saw this quote the other day and it really got me thinking.  In the last year, I have done a lot of contemplation.  I have always said that I was never cut out to be the mother of a child with special needs, even before I had one.  I'll never forget the moment it started to sink in with me that Cameron had bigger things going on than just an unwillingness to do things according to a doctor's timeline.  I had a complete breakdown.  Cody was with me and all I could keep telling him was that I couldn't do it.  I didn't have the strength to do it.

After months of contemplation and soul searching, I realized a few things.  The first one was that I didn't have a choice as to whether I wanted to "do this."  When I chose to bring my children into the world, I made a committment to be there for them, no matter the circumstance.  So, I pulled myself together and started showing up for Cameron, because it was my job.  In doing that, I was able to see him in a whole new light.  I started to see that my reluctance to accept his autism meant that I didn't accept him.  As parents, it is our job to love every part of our children, even the most difficult parts.  I never want my children to feel like I don't love them for exactly who they are.  And autism is who Cameron is.  It is, of course, not all that he is, but it is a big part of him.  And it is a part that I love wholeheartedly.

In the midst of all this soul searching, I also came to realize that I can do this.  And as much as I thought I was never cut out to be a special needs mom, I now see that it's exactly what I was meant to be.  I've reached an entirely new level of patience and understanding in the last year.  And that's all because of Cameron.  He has taught me so much in his short life.  So much more than I will ever teach him.  If there is ever a time that I am frustrated with him or stressed out over a situation, I just remind myself that as difficult as it is for me, it is 10 times more difficult for him.

I've also realized that as his mother, it is my job to be his voice for him.  It's my job to help the world see and accept him for the wonderful little boy that he is.  I've always said that I never wanted this to become an "autism blog."  I want it to continue to be a blog about our family's journey.  But, our journey includes autism.  So, in light of April being Autism Awareness month, I want to do a number of posts about Cameron and our everyday life with him.  I want to open the door to life with autism and show people what it's really like, even if it's just here on my little blog.  This is not in order to gain pity in any way, but to raise awareness.  I mean, let's face it, autism is growing in epidemic proportions.  There's a good chance that Cameron isn't the only child you know or will meet with autism.  I am always amazed when I tell different people about certain things that Cameron does and they are completely surprised.  They generally have no idea what autism entails.  And if those of us who live it everyday don't share our story, how can we expect anyone to understand what we go through?  So, I'm doing my part and refusing to be silent, because autism matters.  Cameron, and the million others like him, matter.  And it's my job to show you why.

It's That Time of Year Again!

We are fast approaching June 11th, the date for Walk Now for Autism Speaks.  Our team, Cameron's Crusaders, will be partcipating again this year.  We are currently working on recruiting team members for the walk.  If you'd like to join us, go to our Team Page, and click on the "Join Our Team" link.  Once you register, you can choose a URL for your own donation page to which you can direct your friends and family to donate. 

Can't walk with us but still feel compelled to help?  That's ok!  You can still join our team and help us raise funds, or you could donate to our team, help us come up with fundraising ideas, or just cheer us on!  We are grateful for any and all support we get, no matter how big or small you might think it is.  We have a few fundraising ideas in the works, which will require help from team members, but I'll post more about that later.  For now, I wanted to share with you a fundraiser that an old friend of mine, Sarah (Will) Davenport, is doing for us.  Sarah is a Scentsy Consultant.  Scentsy is kinda like scented candles, but there are no flames or wicks.  They have warmers that melt bars and fill your home with lots of different yummy fragrances!

So here are the details.  Scentsy is selling a Full-Size Warmer called Piece by Piece.

$5 of each sale of the Piece by Piece warmer goes directly to Autism Speaks.  But that's just the beginning!  Sarah is donating 25% of each sale, no matter what you buy, directly to Cameron's Crusaders!  So check out our party and see if there's anything you'd like to buy!  Just make sure it says that you're shopping the Muhs Autism Fundraiser party! 

If you have any questions about the Scentsy fundraiser, the walk, or want to let me know you want to join our team, please email me at semuhs@yahoo.com. 

Also, April is Autism Awareness month.  I've decided I'm going to do a few posts about our life with autism throughout the month in order to do my part in raising awareness.  And I can't wait to show you the awesome video I made!

Owen Turns 6!

Today, at exactly 6:23pm, my baby boy will be 6 years old.  It just doesn't seem possible.  In that short 6 years, he has grown into such a loving, caring, funny, smart, thoughtful little guy.  He amazes me everyday with the stuff going on in that little head of his.  We decided to do his birthday up big this year.  He's had family parties back in Murphysboro but he's never had a big party where he could invite his friends.  He picked Monkey Joe's, which is an inflatables place.  He was SO excited to have a day that was all about him.  So, on Saturday, we celebrated the awesome kid that is Owen William Muhs.



He requested Mommy make him a Buzz cake.  Of course, I couldn't say no to that!

What's a cake without cookies to match?  We have rockets, sixes, cowboy hats, aliens, Rex, and  Hamm.  As you can see, it was a Toy Story theme!

Staring longingly at the cookie platter while waiting for his guests to arrive.

Our  neighbor, Harlee, one of Owen's best buddies.

My friend (and Cody's co-worker) Laura's little girl, Kodi.  (Yes, it does get confusing with Cody and Kodi.)

Chrissy and Claire going down the slide

My friend Ellen and her son, Bryce.  (Side note:  adults were not allowed on the inflatables.  I am still giving my friends a hard time for being rule-breakers. :) )

Chrissy and Ben

The kids ate pizza while were there.  Owen thought his special throne was so cool!

The kids getting excited because Monkey Joe came in!

This is most of the kids at the party, though some were a little shy to get in the photo.

Owen and our friend, Colin.  Colin is in 1st grade and Owen thinks he's the coolest!

Alas, Cameron was sick with a bad cold/cough and couldn't come to the party.  But it was probably a blessing in disguise because it would have been a lot for him to handle.  A big thank you to all our friends who made the drive to Des Moines to come to the party!  Owen loved seeing everyone and thoroughly enjoys all his gifts!

Back By Popular Demand

Ok, so maybe not "popular" demand.  More like, I saw the sad look my dear mother-in-law gave me when she expressed how upset she was that I was no longer posting photos of her grandchildren and she missed it so much.  That, coupled with the fact that I really have missed blogging and I do want to continue to document our family's journey, has brought me back to this old blog.  I was gone so long dust was starting to collect around here!

I can't really give a specific reason as to why I haven't been blogging.  I think I just got caught up in the chaos that is life and just stopped doing it.  Having two young children, especially one with special needs, maintaining a home, and being able to find time to fit everything else in that I want to do has been a bit of a challenge for me in the last year.  Time management is not one of my strong suits.  But I'm hoping to make a concerted effort to add some weekly blogging into my busy schedule.

Before we get to that, I'll give you the Reader's Digest version of what we've all been up to lately.

Cody has been working hard at work.  He's also been trying to finish up some of those 95% projects around the house. You know, the ones that get about 95% done and then you move on to something else without ever finishing it for whatever reason.  He's gotten back into his running schedule after taking a bit of a break at the end of last year due to an injury and lack of time.  He's hoping to run a couple of 5k's this year so he's very excited about that!

I've been keeping busy shuttling the kids to and from their various appointments and activities.  I'm a PTA member, which I actually really enjoy.  I think my biggest chunks of free time these days are spent baking and decorating sugar cookies and cakes.  I've always loved it (as I'm sure most of you know) but I've taken it to a whole new level in the last year.  The cookies are becoming a strong favorite over cakes so I've been doing a lot with those.  I make them for friends, the kids' birthdays, holidays, and for Owen's class whenever they have a party.  It's time consuming but I love it!

Owen is having a blast in Kindergarten.  He's adjusted well to the change and is really enjoying it to the fullest extent.  Last fall he started Tae Kwon Do and he loves it.  He's in Tiny Tigers, which is for kids aged 4-6.  His friend, Ben (my good friend, Chrissy's son) is in it with him, along with a boy from his class.  He's tested twice since he started and moved up to Tiny Tiger Yellow Belt.  He's also gearing up to start Tee Ball for the first time this Spring.  We're apprehensive about how that will go since he's never really enjoyed team sports all that much but we're hopeful that he'll have fun with it.

Cameron now has a very full therapy schedule.  We are driving to Des Moines to Child Serve, a therapy center made just for kids, 3 days a week now.  He gets speech and occupational therapy at the same time, 45 minutes each time.  We're also going to be adding a feeding therapy session there soon to help with his limited diet, which is due largely in part to his sensory defensiveness.  We have really discovered in the last year just how complex his disorder is and how everyday is such a struggle for him.  But he is progressing everyday!  He's also receiving therapy at home through a great place called The Homestead.  They do ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy, which is an essential part of autism therapy.  It is intense, but if done correctly can really produce some awesome results.  They are coming to the house 4 days a week for 2 1/2 hours each time.  It's been an adjustment for him but he's doing well so far.  He LOVES the water so we are expecting to log a lot of hours at the pool this summer!

So that's us in a nutshell.  We just had Owen's birthday party this past weekend so I'll be sharing photos of that soon!  I can't believe my baby is turning SIX tomorrow!  Where does the time go?

4th of July in the 'Brook, Part II

While we were in Bolingbrook, we made our way over to Grandpa Gary & Grandma Linda's house to hang out with them and Uncle Jesse, Aunt Abbie, Luca, and their newest addition, Cole, for a bit.  Cameron stayed behind with Grandma Lynn because we thought it might just be too much stress for him. 

Luca brought his 4-wheeler along and I, reluctantly, allowed Cody to take Owen for a (slow) spin on it.  As you can see, they both loved it!

He got that feather at a parade that he and Cody went to earlier in the day.  Again, we thought it was too much stress for Cameron so he didn't go.  I had planned to go but somehow got roped into making a 2-tiered princess castle birthday cake for Lynn's neighbor's daughter.  I won't go into how that transpired but it was quite an interesting experience, to say the least.  The only photo I have of said cake is on my phone so I can't show it to you.  I was pretty proud of my work, seeing as how I had very little tools to work with, as well as limited time. 

But back to 4-wheeling.  Not only did they convince me to let Owen ride it, they also somehow convinced me to ride it.

I enjoyed it, but I did go frighteningly slow.  It's amazing how much fear you acquire when you become a mother.  Or maybe not so much fear but caution. 

After a bit of riding, I headed inside to catch this:

There's just something about a man covered in tattoos and piercings giving a baby a bottle that is just too difficult to pass up photographing.  Of course, Grandma had to get in on the action and asked me to take a photo of her "looking matronly."

Before we left we went back outside to get a few photos of the Muhs men.  I was just bummed that our Cammer Jams wasn't there to be a part of it, but we did get some pretty good shots.

We topped the night off by heading to the Bolingbrook Golf Course to watch the most spectacular fireworks show I've ever seen.  We sat right on the golf course surrounded by great friends and we were right up front to see the whole show.  It was a great weekend!

Brothers

When I was pregnant with Cameron, I remember the anticipation of finding out whether we were having a boy or a girl.  Anyone who knows me knows that I want a daughter so badly, but I am being completely honest when I say that with Cameron, I really hoped for a boy.  Obviously, I would have been happy with a girl but the idea of two boys started to grow on me before we ever even knew he was a boy.  I thought about how much fun it would be for Owen to have a brother.  I envisioned the two of them running through the house together, wrestling, playing with trains.  I could see a sweet little boy, toddling behind his big brother and trying to do everything he was doing, even though he would be too small to do it.  I saw Owen helping and protecting his little brother, just like big brothers are meant to do.  I heard them arguing.  I heard them laughing.  I saw this:

While it's just a snapshot in time, I think you can pretty much see a lot of that in this photo.  You probably see two brothers having fun, laughing and being silly together.  Just like the two brothers I saw before they were even two brothers.  What you don't know about this photo, what you can't see because it is, indeed, just a snapshot in time, is that they weren't really wrestling or playing together.  In fact, the little brother smiling so sweetly in this photo probably wasn't paying too much attention to the older brother.  The older brother wasn't wrestling with him, but more hanging on him, trying to somehow get into his world and get him to interact with him.  There are smiles, yes.  The big brother always smiles when trying to hug on the little brother.  But that's not why the little brother is smiling.  He's probably smiling because I asked him what a monkey says and he thinks that's funny.  Or he could have been smiling for reasons completely unknown to the rest of us there.  And while I don't remember for certain, it is a pretty safe bet that as soon as this photo was taken, the little brother promptly pushed the big brother away from him and they both went about their business, playing very differently in their own worlds. 

This is not to say that this wasn't a fun moment for our family.  Quite the opposite, actually.  It was a very pleasant evening where we all enjoyed ourselves and I still look at this photo and think it is adorable.  It's just not exactly what I envisioned 3 years ago when I heard the words, "It's a boy."  And that has been one of the biggest hurdles for me since Cameron's diagnosis; something I struggle with daily.  To let go of what should have been and accept what is.  And more important than just accepting it, finding happiness in it.

Monday night we went to our first PTA meeting.  They provided pizza and free child care so we figured we would give it a go and see how Cameron would do.  If he couldn't adapt, Cody would just take him outside and wait until the meeting was over.  Cody took him to the child care room and talked to the young girl about Cameron.  He gave her his cell phone number just in case Cameron didn't do well and then came back to the meeting.  After about 15 or 20 minutes, he went to peek in the room and see how things were going.  The young girl gave him a thumbs up through the window.  But then, Owen somehow saw Cody through the window and yelled, "Daddy!!!  Cameron doesn't like it in here!"  Cody went in to see what was up and Owen proceeded to tell him that Cameron kept taking him by the hand and leading him to the door in an effort to "tell" him that he wanted to leave.  In a room of about 10 kids and a couple of babysitters, Cameron knew there was one person in that room he should go to.  He knew he belonged to Owen and that Owen belonged to him.  Even though there are so many days where it seems like Cameron doesn't see him.  Where it seems like Owen is just another thing in the room to him.  The little brother went to the big brother for help.  And the big brother, always the protector, knew that he had to yell for Daddy to help his little brother.

Maybe what is isn't so far from what should have been after all...

4th of July in the 'Brook, Part I

You know how I love to stretch out the holidays for you!  I have so many great photos of so many things that we've done in the past few months but finding the time to get them posted here has been difficult for me!  Since I am one day hoping to print this blog out in book form to preserve these family memories, I've decided I'll just post them all no matter what!  Of course, this means you'll probably be looking at photos of us swimming when there's snow on the ground and getting a recap of Christmas in July, but such is life.  I keep making promises to myself that I'm going to get some sort of every-other-day schedule established here but I also keep promising myself that I'm going to lose 50 lbs.  When either of those things happens, I will let you know.  So, without further ado, check out what we did over the 4th this year!

We made our way to Bolingbrook this year for a mini-vacation.  Cody's mom's street has a huge block party every year.  Owen and Cody got to experience it last year and they had so much fun that they wanted to go back this year.  Lucky for us, they scheduled it in the same weekend as the 4th.

There was lots of food, a little train ride, a rock climbing wall, a bounce house (which is pretty much where Owen spent the majority of his day), and the Fire Department even showed up for a while!

He looks a little too happy to be holding an axe, don't you think?

Cameron and I spent the majority of the morning inside because all the people and the bright sun were just a little too much for him.  Then Daddy decided to throw our water boy's trunks on and see if he'd like to get in the little pool.  We had to drag him out of it!

Toward the end of the evening, they rigged up a huge pinata (it's the Stanley Cup, in case you're wondering) in the street and gave each kid a few chances to take a whack at it.

Proudly displaying his loot!

All in all, it was an awesome day.  Until, of course, we had to drag Owen out of the bounce house kicking and screaming at nearly 10pm.  Stay tuned to check out the fun we had when we headed over to Grandpa's house!

First Week Wrap-Up

Well, we made it through our first week of Kindergarten!  On the first day, he came home with a self-portrait:

I am told those are fingers.

When he got home on the first day, I asked him how lunch went since he planned to eat the cheese pizza there.  I asked him if he got a lunch card and he said, "Yeah, Mommy, but it wasn't just any card.  It was a Driver's License!  It said 'Muhs, Owen' on it!"

On Thursday he got a stamp on his hand for being a Superstar Rester.  I found this very ironic considering he hasn't napped for years nor can he really sit still and stop talking for long periods of time.

I asked him that night how things were going at recess and if he was playing with new friends.  He said that he plays with Harlee and a new friend that she met named Brooke.  I encouraged him to make some new friends, too, and he proceeded to tell me, "But, Mommy, I just want to play with Harlee because she is my best friend and I love her.  And Brooke is a new friend so I played with her, too."  "Ok," I said.  "What do you, Brooke, and Harlee do at recess?"  "Well, mostly the girls just drag me around."

On Friday, his teacher stopped me when I picked him up to tell me that he had both a meltdown and difficulty following multi-step directions.  The latter was no surprise to us.  He comes by that honestly, as his daddy is still that way as an adult.  So we're working on listening carefully to directions and focusing on tasks.

The root of the meltdown was due to the fact that he didn't get his art project done in time for playtime.  I'm happy to report that he did, in fact, finish it and finished it well.  He was proudly wearing his work when I picked up him up:

They're goat horns, in case you're wondering.

 

He also went to PE on Friday and told us about some of the rules he learned.  He was more than willing to demostrate one of the most important ones for us, which is "Watch where you're going."

Here he is not watching where he's going.

 

And, of course, we have to demonstrate the correct way to do it!

All in all, it was a pretty good first week.  This morning as he was getting ready to go to school he said to me, "Kindergarten rocks!!!  That means 'really awesome,' Mommy."