Over the next few days I continued to come up with my favorite things about Grandma. I brought a notepad in the car with me for the 8-hour trip home and feverishly wrote things down as they came back to me. My husband, Cody, even shared some of his favorite memories of Grandma as we drove. Meanwhile, Josh and Matt and their wives had been doing the same thing and by this time, my Auntie Gaye had gotten in on it, too. Beth had spent free moments here and there typing up the ones we’d already sent to her, as well as thinking of many of her own. And just like that, we already had over 200 memories and thoughts of Grandma.
I arrived in Murphysboro a couple of days before Christmas. I had Auntie Gaye and Beth send me what they’d already typed and I added more of my memories to that. Then I sat at my parents’ dining room table at the laptop, while my parents chimed in with their memories of her. They had stories I’d heard over the years and some I never even knew about. We had so much fun reliving it all and were starting to get excited at the prospect of Grandma doing the same. When we finished, I sent everything back to Auntie Gaye. Auntie Gaye, Matt, and his wife, Jess, stayed up late on Christmas Eve printing everything and cutting each memory into a strip that Grandma would pull out each day. Beth had gotten us a treasure box to put them in.
Our Christmas day was much like those when we were younger. We couldn’t wait to get through our lunch and get the dishes washed so that we could get to the gift opening. But this one was different in that we weren’t excited to open our own gifts, we were excited to see Grandma’s face as she opened her gift from us. Finally the time came to present it to her. Her reaction was priceless and just what we’d hoped for. She loved it and couldn’t believe what we had done. Still reeling from reliving all the memories, we wanted her to start reading a few of them so we could talk to her about them and hear her thoughts on them. But Grandma, a stickler for rules, insisted that she would do just as she was instructed and only read one per day. Eventually, though, we convinced her to pull out 3 and read them aloud. With each one she read, she smiled, and we knew that we’d given her just the perfect gift at just the perfect time.
Over the next few weeks, Mom and Auntie Gaye would tell us how excited Grandma was to read a new memory every day. They would often ask her when they spoke to her on the phone what her memory was for that day. She would share it with them and talk about how much she enjoyed the gift. We heard stories of her gushing about the gift to all of her friends. And each time she saw any of us, she would go on and on about how much she enjoyed it.
I’m so grateful that we set all other things aside and took the time to do that for her. Not only did we give her something to look forward to each day, but we were able to tell her how much she meant to us before it was too late. We made sure that she knew just how important every tradition she practiced with us was to each of us; like the way we opened Christmas gifts one by one from youngest to oldest so that we could all see what each other got, our annual trip to St. Louis on the weekend after Thanksgiving to see Santa and shop, and how she took each of us gambling as soon as we turned 21. We told her the things we admired and loved about her; like her steadfast positive attitude, her strong faith in God, and the fact that she was a working mother before it was the social norm. We gave her the assurance that we still carry with us all the important things she taught us over the years; like the value of a handwritten thank you note, how to play 31, and to always cherish your family above all else. We let her know that every tradition, every memory, every gift she gave us matters to us. But what I’m not sure that many of us saw coming was how much doing all of this would mean to us. I think that we all enjoyed reliving those memories just as much as she did. And I think it helped us all to remember what a wonderful foundation Grandma and Grandpa provided us with.
Even though our lives are forever changed now that she is gone and it hurts more than we could ever express, I take comfort in the fact that we still have her treasure box of memories. We can share it with each other and our children and continue to be reminded of all of the good times we shared together. And while we’re reminiscing, I know that Grandma is right where she belongs. Back with the love of her life, both of them watching over us and smiling on us just as they did when they were here. Rest well together, Grandma and Grandpa. And thanks for the lifetime of memories.
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