Pardon me while I take a look back...

Since I've become a mother I have lost more memory cells than I ever thought possible. But there are still a few dates that will forever remain etched on my brain. Those days that I could recite almost verbatum exactly how events unfolded, and will probably be able to do so until I am old and wrinkly. Today is one of those dates. It was one year ago today that I had to take my baby boy to the emergency room. One year ago that my world was turned completely upside-down. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my entire life. When you see your child, only a month old, in a hospital bed, looking like this:

Words really can't capture that feeling. There were moments when I thought I might be leaving that hopsital without him. I remember sitting at his bedside at night, talking to him, praying for him, willing him to get out of there in tact. The times that Cody would come we sat next to him, looking at him and talking about how we wished we could just fast forward 1 year, 2 years, and have a healthy toddler bouncing around our house. At that time, it seemed so far away. It seemed like a dream as far fetched as the nightmare we were currently living. I think those 9 days were the longest in my life. And now, as I sit here typing this, I have exactly what I dreamed of. There is a little boy standing next to me, babbling at me, and trying to type along with me. He is crawling all over our house, playing with toys, laughing, and even has a clever, mischevious side. (He is Cody's son, after all. ;) )

While it was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life, I sometimes don't think I'd ever take it back. For one, it bonded Cameron and I in a way that we never would have bonded. I often felt like it was he and I against the world in that hospital room. And we made it out...together. At only a month old it showed me what a little fighter my son truly is. And he has showed me that time and time again over the last year. He may be one little dude, but has more strength than many men. It also allowed me to see so many things in a different light. I no longer sweat the small stuff quite as much, keeping in mind that I have a loving, happy, and healthy family, and that is really what is important in life.

So while I do remember those moments captured in the photos above, I am grateful that I also have this one to remember:

And I pray that there are many more for years to come, just like this one.